Decorating Madness
by Loads of Randomness
Summary: Inspired by /u/writersblockedbrcomessunblocked's Christmas Dialogue Prompts. Emily and Spencer have decided that it was high time that they decorated for Christmas. What on earth could go wrong?
1. Popcorn

Emily hummed cheerfully as she took another bowl of popcorn out of the microwave. She did love this part of Christmas. Shopping and stressful crowds could shove themselves and present decisions could be forgotten. _This_ is what Christmas was all about.

She swung into her living room, sneaking a few kernels for herself, so she could finish her task.

"Spencer, what are you doing?" she asked her boyfriend, setting the bowl on the side table.

He was alternating between eyeing their currently bare tree and frowning at the spool of thread shed found.

"Calculating," was all the answer she got.

"I can see _that_," she told him, dropping herself down on the floor next to him. This task was much more fun on the ground. "_Why_ are you calculating? Or what are you calculating?"

"I'm figuring out how much thread we need to wrap it around the tree. Can you hold this?" he asked, handing her the loose end of a spool of thread.

Emily took it with a bit of amusement, watching as Spencer unravelled it to the correct length. Or, try to. This was Spencer Reid after all. He was actually doing okay until he deemed it necessary to move to prevent the thread getting tangled. Of course, he was going backwards so he could accurately judge the length which made her feel very nervous.

Why were there so many pieces of furniture in their apartment?

"Just, be _careful_," she fretted, twisting her hands together - a habit she'd picked up from Reid.

Reid, the annoying dork, just brushed her off. "I know every inch of this apartment, Emily. This will be fine."

"Uh huh."

Where had she heard _that_ before?

"Just hold the string taut," he instructed, eyeing the thread.

Not able to resist the urge to mess with him, she held her end of the thread high in the air.

"Like this?" she teased.

"Emily!"

"Or," she twisted some of it around her fingers. "Like this?"

"I'm trying to get this exact, Emily!" he complained.

"It doesn't need to be. That's what scissors are for."

"This will save time. _If_ you hold it right."

Emily sighed and rolled her eyes but obediently held the thread out.

"See, this is easy," he told her triumphantly, backing himself to the opposite side of the room. "It's just needs to be a little longe-"

"Spencer, the wall!"

'CRASH!'

* * *

"I did warn you," she tutted at him, holding a bag of frozen peas to the back of his head.

Spencer tried to glare at her but it was interrupted by a groan.

"Where did that wall come from anyway?"

"It jumped out at you," Emily said drily. "I saw it."

Spencer growled something incomprehensible as he grabbed at the cold bag to steady it properly on his injury. She patted him on the cheek.

* * *

"I'll go get the scissors."

"Would you _stop_ eating all the popcorn? It's supposed to go on the tree!"

"But I'm _hungry_," Spencer whined, turning a pout on her.

Nope, she was not going to give into this today. Not while they were decorating.

"Then get some food."

She slid a cranberry on and frowned. That didn't look quite right.

"There's food all around me," he argued, reaching for another handful only for his hand to be slapped away. "Hey!"

"This isn't food," she scolded then turned back to her string and sighed.

She pulled the cranberry off. Popcorn needed to go there. Not that that was going to happen if her boyfriend kept eating all of the popcorn!

"I think that you'll find that it _is_."

"This," Emily gestured to the bowls of popcorn and cranberries around them, "is for _decorating_."

"And snacking?" Spencer added hopefully.

"No."

"Aww."

* * *

"Ow!"

Emily knotted the end of her string. That should be long enough to string across the wall.

"Ow!"

She grabbed the scissors and laid claim to the remaining popcorn. They'd need to put more on soon.

"_Ow_."

Now what to start with this time, popcorn or cranberry?

"_Emily_," Spencer whined.

She sighed heavily and carefully placed her strand on the floor before turning to him.

"What?"

A finger was suddenly thrust into her face. She had to take a step back so it was actually in focus. It was pinpricked with blood.

"The needle hates me!"

Why did she think that giving Spencer a small, sharp pointy object was a good idea?

"Ow, _Emily_!"

* * *

"How does this look?" Spencer asked, holding his string up.

He had eventually gotten the knack for threading the popcorn and cranberries together. It had only taken a few more injuries (and kisses) on both their parts to do it. Leading his hands was not a good way to go about doing that. Too distracting. But it wasn't for nothing. He had managed to string simple popcorn and cranberries into a complicated but repeatable pattern because apparently the old 'two cranberries, one popcorn' was boring.

"Cool," she praised and held up her own. "What do you think?"

"Pretty," he praised.

They grinned at each other and got back to work. They had to have enough to drape across the walls after all.

"This is fun," he said happily, sucking on his finger where he'd pricked himself again and grabbed three cranberries.

"Isn't it?"

"So, you did this all the time growing up?"

"Yep," she nodded her head. "This was the one thing that me and mother did no matter what country we were in or what she was doing. The other decorations were usually put up by staff but the cranberry and popcorn garlands were always done by _us_."

It held a very special place in Emily's heart, not that she'd ever admit it.

"It's a nice tradition."

"What about you?" Emily asked curiously, he never really spoke about holidays with his mom.

Spencer shrugged.

"We didn't really celebrate much. Mom always thought that the Christmas lights were bugged by the government, so we couldn't have those. She wasn't really into corporate holidays, as she called them, anyway. Said all the meaning was taken out of them."

Emily's face fell. "That's just sad."

Spencer shrugged again. "It's all I knew so I didn't really miss out on much. I didn't really mind."

"But surely there was one Christmas tradition that you always wanted to do as a kid?"

He gave her a thoughtful look. "Well, I always liked baking cookies but mom would do that any time with me. I wouldn't associate it with Christmas"

That just sounded depressing to Emily. What was Christmas without the decorations and the baking?

"Religion, Emily," he told her.

Oops, had she said that out loud.

"Well, yes," she said begrudgingly. She supposed that was the whole point of the holiday.

"And mom and me aren't exactly big on that either."

"Do you even _like_ Christmas, Spencer?"

She _had_ just sort of thrown the box of decorations at him (nearly squashing him in the process). She hadn't exactly asked his opinion.

He gave her an insulted look. "Of course. Since the team introduced me to it."

"But you wouldn't celebrate it by yourself."

"It's a holiday for family, Emily," he said earnestly. "I couldn't celebrate until I had found mine."

Her eyes started to frustratingly water. Okay, this was far too much emotion for simple decorating. Time to redirect.

"Oh, shush," she said, throwing popcorn at him. "Go and enjoy your popcorn threading."


	2. Creeping Santas

They eventually got all their popcorn and cranberries all threaded together on lots of different lengths of strings. It was draped across the walls and artistically swirled around the tree, _without_ Spencer having to measure it to the last inch. It looked _fantastic_.

"Wow," Spencer voiced her thoughts, munching on a fresh bowl of popcorn and a string of cranberries wrapped around his head like a crown. He looked like a Christmas creature of some sort; he was just missing the pointy ears.

She had given into his wordless pleading and made him a bowl of his own. He'd just looked so forlorn and hungry.

"Yeah," Emily breathed, pleased with their work. "Now for the rest of it."

Spencer swallowed his handful of popcorn. "Rest of it?"

"Well, yeah," she said, rummaging in the box nearest to her. "You didn't think I that the tree and strings were the end of it did you?"

"Well, yes," he said hesitantly then caught the expression on her face. "No?"

"No," she confirmed.

"I suppose the tree isn't done yet," he said slowly, eyeing the admittedly bare tree.

That and there was a big box with 'TREE ORNAMENTS' boldly scrawled across it in Emily's untidy handwriting.

"That's not even the half of it," she assured him, turning to decide what box to open next.

"What?" he squeaked, cranberries drooping across one eye.

She pushed it back onto his head and put her hands on her hips. "There's a lot more than the tree to do."

* * *

"I did not realise that you basically turned into Garcia for the Christmas period."

"I do _not_," Emily protesting, pulling out the third string of lights out of a box.

Spencer just raised an eyebrow.

"There's nothing glittery," she pointed out in her defence.

She wasn't lying, not one of her decorations had glitter on them. She hated the stuff. It got absolutely everywhere and you could never clean it all up. Her go bag still had pink glitter on it from the birthday card Garcia gave her _two years_ ago. So, no. No glitter for her. There wasn't even a strand of tinsel!

"That fact is quite amazing."

Emily stuck her tongue out at him.

"I meant that almost eighty percent of Christmas decoration have some form of glitter on the," he amended. "The fact that none of yours have any is quite amazing."

"Only eighty percent?" Emily questioned, trying to untangle a particularly stubborn knot in the fourth string of lights. This happened _every_ year. "I thought it would be higher."

"Actually, it's more like seventy-six point four."

"What have we told you about trying to be less pedantic about your statistics?"

"Uh," he gave her a shy smile. "It doesn't work?"

"That and we don't mind them," she said fondly, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and then made an annoyed noise. "What I _do_ mind is this knot."

"Let me," he offered.

She shoved the now even _more_ tangled lights at him, how did she manage that?

"Have at it."

His fingers were more nimble than hers anyway.

* * *

"How did you find so many non-glittery decorations?" Spencer grunted out as he tugged the last knot in the lights free. "Yes!"

"Got a few here and there over the years. Lots are from overseas from when I was growing up. Me and mother liked having a few from each country we were in. Old fashioned styled ones don't tend to have glitter on them."

"Which is why most of yours are in that style."

"Exactly."

"Well, except for your collection of Snowmen," he said with a grin, gesturing all around him.

Every third decoration seemed to be a snowman of some sort. From snowmen faced baubles, to lighty-up ones to more traditionally dressed ones.

"I like my snowmen," Emily told him defensively, hugging a stuffed toy one close to her. Jingle Bells Rock blared from its stomach.

They both winced. That was _loud_.

"I can see that," Spencer said drily, plucking the toy from her hands to turn it off. "At least we know that one doesn't need batteries."

"There's no off switch," Emily said only slightly apologetically. "You have to let it play the whole way through."

Spencer gave the toy a shake and frowned at it. It seemed to play the song even louder. Thankfully, it only played one verse and the chorus so it soon shut up.

"Do we have to put batteries in _all_ of them?" he complained.

"Not all of them sing," she assured him. "Just light up."

"Do you even have enough batteries?"

* * *

They did _not_ have enough batteries. One quick (ish) trip to the supermarket and practically snatching packets away from little children later and they were back with enough batteries to power the North Pole.

"You know," Spencer said conversationally, turning a light up Santa ornament on its head to check its batteries. There were none in it. "The idea of Santa Claus is pretty messed up. It's a fat man who breaks into your house with presents made by tiny people who know if you've been bad or good. How do they _know_?"

Emily set down the snowman she was positioning so she could fold her arms and frown at her boyfriend.

"You're ruining Christmas for me. Stop. And pass me the batteries."

She did not need thoughts of a jolly Father Christmas being a pervert poisoning her mind today. That was the complete opposite of Christmas cheer. Unlike lit up ornaments. She looked happily at her bobbing snowman, that was Christmas cheer.

"It's not even anywhere close to how the legend actually goes," he complained.

Well used to Spencer's take on myths and legends, Emily just nodded and focused on getting the line-up of snowmen _just_ so.

"Isn't our idea of Santa the conglomeration of several tales?"

"Well, yes," Spencer replied with a pout. "Obviously. We've contorted the legends and stories into today's Santa Claus."

"American capitalism and consumerism at its finest," Emily said in a deadpan voice.

"How are kids not scared by this fact?" Spencer complained. "It's scarier than Hallowe'en! Ghosts and ghouls don't follow your every move all year around. They have one day, scare you and it's back to the Underworld for them."

"I dare you to say that to JJ. She's just gotten Henry over his Hallowe'en fear."

Spencer's eyes widened comically as he vigorously shook his head at that suggestion.

"I'm good. I still haven't recovered from the lecture she gave me about 'ruining birthdays'."


	3. Strong Opinions

It took longer than expected to make sure that all the decorations that needed batteries had them (the unplanned trip to the supermarket not withstanding). There were just so many of them. Emily didn't realise how many of them required batteries. She may or may not have a light addiction along with the snowmen.

Of course, she didn't exactly help matters by trying to decorate as she pulled ornaments from the box. She couldn't help it, they looked so sad lying on their backs in the boxes. They didn't belong there, they needed to be free.

Spencer kept trying to snatch them off her to organise them into piles because, apparently, he had a _system_. It was frustrating.

"That's not how Christmas is supposed to work, Spence," Emily said gently, pulling a lantern from him. "It's not meant to be like a factory line."

"I know _that_," he replied, taking the Santa off her. "I just want to organise them by theme so everything is easier to see and nothing's left out.

Emily blinked at him. That actually made some sort of sense. Unfortunately. She always managed to leave out a few ornaments only to find out when she was done and had to struggle to find a place for them. This might prevent that. It still felt wrong though.

"Christmas isn't meant to be organised," she informed him.

"Just bringing a little order to the chaos."

* * *

Much to Emily's disgust, Spencer's organisation did help. Not that she'd ever tell him that. No ornament inexplicably went missing and she didn't have too many of one type of ornament in one area like she normally did. Though, she'd never complain about having a crowd of snowmen in one place even if it did make other areas look decidedly snowman-less. Anyway, they didn't have that problem this year.

Though they were about to have a different type of problem.

"Hey, don't move that!"

Spencer dropped the reindeer he was re-positioning. It fell to the floor with a 'clunk'. Emily darted forwards to rescue it and cradled it to her chest, good thing it wasn't broken. She glared at Spencer.

"What?"

"Why did you do that?" she demanded.

"Do what? I was just moving it," Spencer replied, confusion marring his features.

"Exactly! It was fine where it was!"

The confusion deepened.

"No, it wasn't," he informed her. "It didn't work there."

"Of course, it did, that's why I _put_ it there."

"You put three tall things side by side."

What was the problem with that? It looked good! It went with the scene Emily was creating with the carol singers.

"And?"

"You can't put that many tall things together! You need to alternate it with the short, break up the view a bit. Create interesting lines."

"It's Christmas decorating, Spencer. Not Home Makeovers."

* * *

They decided to agree to disagree about the position of the reindeer which meant Emily got to keep it in its original position and Spencer grumbled about it. He got his way about the snowman though, mainly because he could hold it out of her reach.

"Give it back!" she demanded, trying her best to look and sound fierce as she was jumping around trying to grab the ornament Spencer was holding above his head.

He just smirked down at her. Emily glared at him, again. Had she mentioned that she didn't like the fact that he was actually taller than her. Not many men were, which used to annoy her (make her feel ungainly) but this was far more annoying.

"It's going up here," Spencer informed he, waving his free hand towards the bookshelf.

There was a cleared spot next to her mystery novels.

"No, it's going on the table," Emily contradicted. It would make the perfect centrepiece.

"No, it's not," he scoffed at her. "It wouldn't look good there."

"It would!"

"No, it won't!"

"Yes, it will!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

Emily stepped back and paused for a moment, trying to regain some control of the situation. Spencer backed away slightly, annoyingly closer to the bookcase. She really needed something to outline it.

"When did you become the Doctor of Christmas Taste?" she taunted.

"Since you tried to put a short ornament on a large table," he retorted.

"My table's not _that_ big." It wasn't. It sat four people.

"Your snowman is _tiny_," Spencer claimed, brandishing it in front of him.

Emily frowned at it. Spencer was being a _bit_ dramatic. The cutesy little snowman in a duffle coat wasn't _that_ small. It was taller than her hand, unlike the tiny Santa and his sleigh ornament they had just put on the mantlepiece.

She shook her head. She was getting distracted.

"Give. It. Here!"

Spencer raised a challenging brow. "Make me."

Her eyes narrowed and he gulped slightly, just now realising that he _may_ have put his foot in it.

Oh, it was on.

Spencer made a squeaking noise.

She lunged.

* * *

Spencer triumphantly held the snowman aloft, absent-mindedly rubbing his side as Emily pouted from behind him, her arms crossed.

It wasn't fair. That should have worked. It always worked.

"It looks good right here, doesn't it?" he asked cheerfully, placing it by the books. "Look, he's even dressed for the part in his coat and top hat."

She huffed and turned up her nose. There was no way that she was going to give him any satisfaction. Deciding that ignoring him was the best course of action, she prodded the mess they had made with her toe. Spencer's limbs really had a long reached.

"We've wrecked your system," she informed him smugly. She won something out of this.

"And whose fault is that?" he retorted, turning around. There were still tear tracks on his now red cheeks.

Emily shot him an innocent look. "Not mine."

"It was!" he accused, jabbing a finger at her.

"It wasn't _me_ who collided with the table and boxes, spilling them everywhere."

They were going to have to tidy that up. Maybe she'd make Spencer do it by himself. It was _his_ fault after all. Actually, no. That was a bad idea. That would mean that he had control of the decorations. A very bad idea.

"You _tickled_ me," he sounded so put out by that. She almost felt sorry for him. Almost. Maybe if she had gotten her way, she would be more sympathetic.

"All's fair in love and war," Emily claimed with a sniff.

Spencer wiped at his nose. "I wasn't feeling much of the love," he grumbled.

"I prefer the war."

"Which you lost, by the way."

"Oh, hush."


	4. Lighting the Tree

Spencer didn't know _how_ but they managed it. He and Emily put every single last ornament of hers out. Each one of them had their place, maybe not their _optimal_ place but they had a place. He was still bitter about the reindeer. Just a little bit.

"What are we doing next?" he asked expectantly, now knowing better than to take the initiative.

Emily had very strong opinions on how to do this Christmas Decorating business. And, yes, he even thought of those words in uppercase now seeing how it was a full production. He shuddered to think what Garcia would be like if this is how Emily did things. The technical woman's 'lair' had admittedly been a tinsel explosion since after Thanksgiving so Spencer didn't doubt that her own apartment was even worse.

"Uhm," Emily looked around her, trying to see what needed done next.

Spencer did the same, a feeling of satisfaction overcoming him. They really had done quite a lot. Mainly because Emily had a lot of Christmas decorations.

"There's the lights and garlands to hang up and the tree to sort out as well as decorating it..." she said slowly, absent-mindedly chewing on a nail.

He automatically tugged her hand away and gave her an incredulous look.

"What do you mean 'sort the tree out'? It's already up, isn't it?" he asked, waving his hand at said tree.

It was a fake one, one that Emily had apparently had for quite a while.

"I hate sweeping up needles and sometimes I'm barely home enough to look after a real one," she had explained somewhat defensively when she had shown him the box. "This is just easier and less human interaction."

Spencer had raised his eyebrows at that.

"There are _far_ too many annoying people at Christmas Tree Farms."

Spencer supposed that made sense, not that he'd know from first-hand experience or anything. He was somewhat relieved; pine made his nose itch.

What he was also thankful for was that it just required someone screwing the three pieces together and pulling out the branches. But back to the present.

Emily gave him an exasperated look.

"That," she pointed at the tree. "Is not _sorted_. That is _up_." The tree wobbled dangerously and Spencer retrieved Sergio from the base. "Barely."

"So, what do we need to do?" Spencer asked, dropping Sergio as he clawed at his sleeve to show his displeasure at being prevented from scaling the tree.

"Fluff the branches up a bit," Emily instructed him. "Like this."

Spencer watched carefully as she demonstrated prising the plastic branches apart. He nodded his understanding.

"You take that side and I'll take this side," she said, shimmying around to her claimed side of the tree.

Spencer gave the tree a thoughtful look.

"Do you start at the bottom or the top?"

"It doesn't really matter."

* * *

"No, Spence. Not like _that_."

"I'm spreading the out like you told me too!" he yelped defensively as she swatted his hands away.

Emily directed a long-suffering sigh in his direction. Spencer pouted at her. He was only following directions!

"I said to fluff it up."

"That's what I'm _doing_."

"No, you're pulling them out into a flat plane. Can't you see the gaps?"

Spencer took a step backwards so he could see the tree properly, almost falling over a garland in the process. Why was that even out if they weren't currently doing anything with it?

"Oh."

It was _extremely_ obvious that two different people sorted out the tree. Actually, it looked like two separate trees had jammed themselves together. Which it may as well have been. Emily's side was all bushy and fully looking while his -

"You've just pulled the branches flat so they look like separate levels," Emily said, chuckling.

He sulked at her and folded his arms, bottom lip protruding. It wasn't like he'd done this before.

"I'll fix it," she offered. "Why don't you sort the lights?"

He perked up. That he could do.

"The white ones would look better on the tree, right?" he checked, already reaching for them. "Emily, how on earth do you store them to get in these knots?"

* * *

One detangling him of lights later and they were ready to actually put them on the object they were meant to go on. Spencer still wasn't entirely sure how he managed to wrap himself in them but he suspected Emily had a hand in it. She was looking far too innocent.

"But you looked so _pretty_ with them," Emily teased.

He shot her a dark look as he tried to manipulate them in a way that didn't tangle them again.

"Do we start from the top or bottom?" he asked, lights at the ready.

"Whatever's easier," Emily replied, lifting the middle of the string of lights off the floor. "As long as they spiral nicely."

Spencer looked down at the lights and at the tree.

"Top down then," he decided, positioning himself beside the tree and giving it a dubious look. He wasn't sure how good at this he was going to be. "And we'll need to be careful to keep it even."

"Look on the bright side. You don't need a ladder."

"It's a bit depressing being taller than the tree," Reid complained, pinging the top of it to demonstrate. He could actually see _over_ it.

* * *

"Don't wrap it over there!"

"It's all bunched up."

"Wait, you're moving too fast. I'm not ready!"

"How has it manged to reknot itself?"

"Sergio! Bad cat! Lights are _not_ for eating!"

"We decided on _anti_clockwise, Emily. It flows better."

"Why do we have an extra foot of lights?"

"No, don't pull them!"

"Mraow."

* * *

Spencer was amazed that they ended up with lights on the tree after all their shenanigans but they did. They had had to unravel and redo it a grand total of three times but they managed it.

If only he could get Emily to turn them on, he really wanted to see them all lit. But no. She said that was a part of the grand reveal when they finished decorating. Not even his argument about lit lights being better to see if they'd wrapped them around the tree properly held any water.

"Now we decorate it?" he asked hopefully.

Spencer was looking forward to it. The baubles Emily had in the boxes were really lovely and they had bought a few more together because apparently that's what couples did. They were going to look brilliant with the lights reflecting off them.

"I kind of like decorating the tree last," Emily explained. "It really finishes the whole room off."

Spencer shrugged his acceptance, as long as he got to decorate the tree, he was good.

A scratching noise came from the floor, followed by a satisfied "meow".

"That and I want to get the garland off the floor before Sergio destroys it."


	5. Sergio, No!

Emily loved cats. She really did. They were the perfect animal for her. Independent. Their own animal. Plenty of character. Intelligent. Creature of the night. Low maintenance. See? Perfect. Really.

She took a deep breath and counted to ten.

"Remember; perfect cat, perfect cat," she muttered to himself.

She opened her eyes again. Nope. He was still there.

"Sergio," she scolded, trying to lift him out of the box he had made himself comfortable in after they had shooed him away from the garland on the floor.

The cat wasn't having any of it, having made himself comfortable on top of _another_ garland they had yet to take out of said box. Sergio dug his claws in and yowled loudly.

"I don't think he wants to be moved," Spencer pointed out helpfully.

Emily glared at him and then at her far too smug looking cat.

"We need that garland," she said with a huff.

"Why don't we put these up first?" Spencer suggested, gesturing to the two already on the floor.

"But that one's the most important one. It's for the fireplace."

And Sergio couldn't have it.

"Miaow," Sergio interjected and rubbed himself against the box.

Why did he have to look so damn cute?

"Maybe of you ignore him he'll come out wanting your attention," Spencer suggested.

Emily opened her mouth to tell him off for saying something so ridiculous but then closed it with a snap. That might actually work.

* * *

It did work, much to both their satisfaction. Spencer because he was right and Emily because it meant that she got her garland back.

She petted Sergio as he wound himself around her legs. Maybe he was an ok cat.

"I'll put him in the bedroom before he gets into something else," she said to Spencer, reaching over to grab Sergio.

But Sergio didn't want that to happen. He yowled loudly and darted away from her grasp. He didn't stop moving, instead tearing around the apartment.

"Catch him!" Emily commanded making grabby hands at the cat.

"What?" Spencer asked, turning around with a bewildered expression.

Sergio ran past him as a grey tabby blur.

"Catch him!" Emily repeated, louder this time.

That tone automatically got Spencer moving as his eyes started to track Sergio, crouching slightly to be ready to move quickly.

"Make sure he doesn't get at the lights!" Emily shouted as she chased after him.

That was the last thing they needed. Do you know how long it took Spencer to unravel them?

"I have him, I have him!" Spencer informed her, jumping at Sergio.

Unfortunately, Sergio was quicker and darted through his legs. That was enough to put him off balance and -

"Ahhh!" Spencer shouted as he fell to the floor.

It was a good thing that they had placed her sofa cushions there earlier. They me a perfect Spencer landing spot.

She tried hard not to laugh. OK, one chuckle escaped. Just one.

"I don't think you have him," she informed him.

"Stupid cat," she heard Spencer mutter in a grumpy tone from the floor.

"Oh, no you're not," she cooed at a now stationary Sergio, picking him up and rubbing her cheek along the top of his head. He purred in satisfaction. "You're such a good, smart boy, aren't you? Aren't you?"

Spencer rolled his eyes at her.

"You know you sound like a crazy cat lady, don't you?" he asked, folding his arms.

She held Sergio in front of her and scrunched up her nose, telling him in a mock whisper, "He's just jealous of how graceful you are compared to him."

"I am not!"

Emily let her cat pounce out of her arms and put her hands on her hips. "Yet you're the one grumbling on the floor."

"Not exactly by choice," he grumbled, proving her point, and picking himself up from the floor.

"You were _just_ telling him off," Spencer complained, dusting himself off. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"He's _my_ cat. _You_ can't insult him," she told him with a sniff. "Anyway, he's not stupid, pick your insults better. He's a really intelligent animal."

That got her an eye roll but she ignored it. No one talked bad about her little Sergio.

"You do realise your 'intelligent cat' has trapped himself on the windowsill?"

Emily turned around and moaned, "Sergio!"

"Mraow?"

Sergio blinked at them, pawing at a snowman in confusion.

* * *

Emily would never understand how Sergio managed to get himself _to_ places but not know how to food his original path backwards. Thankfully she had rescued him from the windowsill before there were any snowman casualties. He was now purring quite happily in her arms, getting his back scratched. Spencer was giving him the side eye.

"What _now_, Spence?"

"He's _plotting_ something."

"He's a cat, Spencer. He's always plotting something."

Spencer gave her cat a suspicious look but realising that she wasn't going to do anything about Sergio, returned to the garlands.

"Where do you want this one?" he asked, holding the shortest one out.

Oh, that was the one she wanted to go along the tip of the bookcase.

"Just over-"

Before she could show him where to put it Sergio jumped out of her arms and lunged at Spencer.

"Aargh!" he yelped, raising his hands to cover his face and dropping the garland in the process.

Sergio didn't pay him any mind and went straight to the floor. Before Emily could blink the cat hat the garland in his mouth and dashed out of the room.

"Sergio!" she called after him, as if he would listen.

"_Demon_ cat," Spencer hissed through his fingers.

* * *

A much more dishevelled Emily draped the garland over the bookcase about half an hour. It wasn't looking too good anymore either, there were chunks missing and it just looked bedraggled. Sergio really hadn't wanted to let it go. The scratches on her arms could attest to that. Oh well, she had some pine cones and berry sprigs somewhere that could spruce it up a bit.

"It's a bit lopsided," Spencer commented, his head tilted to one side and munching on some popcorn.

Where had he even got that? Hadn't they used it all for the strings?

"Mraow." Sergio agreed from his feet, licking at the salt on the floor.

"Oh, shut up you two."


	6. More Lights

Emily decided that rounding up Sergio was obviously a lost cause. He is wanted to be a part of the decorating process. Or cause as much chaos as possible which was basically the same thing. It was best to ignore him and maybe he'd get bored. There was still a lot to do, at this rate they weren't going to finish decorating in time for _next_ Christmas.

"Spencer, stop glaring at Sergio and help me with these boxes."

She had thought her apartment was messy before but apparently running around after a cat ensured that boxes got kicked everywhere.

Spencer looked up at her and pouts before quickly returning his attention to her cat.

"_Spencer_."

"I think recent events have proved that we need to keep an eye on him."

"That's what he wants. He's a cat. He wants all of the attention," she pointed out in exasperation.

"Then surely we should give it to him if it prevents a catastrophe!"

Emily sniggered. That was punny. Spencer turned his glare on her. Uh oh, that wasn't in the Christmas Spirit.

"Time for the rest of the lights!" She said cheerfully, clapping her hands.

That got Spencer's attention. His head jerked up and he blinked at her.

Rest of the lights?

* * *

"Are inside lights _really_ necessary?" Spencer asked plaintively, looking up at Emily.

She gave a wiggle so he could appreciate the view better. He made a squeaking noise but she wasn't sure that was because of attraction or because she made the ladder wobble.

"We live in an _apartment_. I'm not allowed to decorate the outside of the building so now I need to focus my need for lights inside."

Spencer squinted up the ladder at her. "You asked the landlord if you could decorate outside, didn't you?"

Emily huffed at him; he shot her a look.

"_Yes_," she reluctantly admitted.

A smile appeared on his face as he raised an eyebrow. "And what did he say?"

"He said no even _after_ I volunteered to put them up. Apparently, it's against 'Health and Safety' regulations," she replied with a pout, even doing the inverted commas with her hand.

"Put your hands back on the ladder!" Spencer yelped.

Emily rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to fall off."

"If you keep your hands on the ladder!"

"It's perfectly safe, you made sure of that."

"The perfect angle between the floor and the wall doesn't stop this ladder being _rickety_."

He'd made sure of that 'perfect angle', much to her impatience, adjusting the ladder _just_ _so_, so that the distance between the wall and the bottom rung of the ladder was _exact_. Admittedly, it didn't take long, Spencer being able to do those sorts of calculations basically instantly in his head but any delay in decorating was unacceptable in her book. That, and the fuss over the ladder wasn't necessary. She wasn't an idiot; she knew not to go up a freaking ladder when it was unsteady and told him so.

"Do you know how many ladder-related injuries occur at this time of the year? And most of the easily preventable," he retorted hotly. "I'm just trying to prevent a trip to the Emergency Room."

"How many of those injuries happen because the ground is icy?"

Spencer's mouth opened and closed a few times before he replied defensively, "Not a lot!"

"Hmm mm."

She noticed that he didn't give her a statistic. Very telling.

"Anyway," Emily continued. "We're inside so if I fall it will more than likely not be far from the ground and I'll probably land on something soft."

Spencer looked around the room doubtfully, eyes lingering on the assortment of boxes with decorations scattered in between (albeit neatly thanks to his system) and the oddly positioned furniture.

"I'm pretty sure it's more dangerous to fall in here," he said slowly. "At least outside you'd fall on one of the bushes. You could get a serious back or head injury falling in here from any great height."

"I'm five steps up," she said in exasperation. "Hardly a great height from the ground."

"It's doesn't matter the height you fall from. It's what you fall _on_. Or, more specifically, what you hit your head against."

"Do you want me to go to the top of this ladder?" she threatened.

With wide eyes, Spencer shook his head and hurriedly passed her a string of lights.

* * *

There was only one problem with outlining the interior of one's apartment with lights. Or rather, several related problems. The furniture. It got in the way of the ladders and there was only minimal space to move it into as they put the lights up. They were basically rearranging the whole room.

It was just like moving in except there were actually _more_ boxes on the ground and a Christmas tree to get around.

But it didn't matter. Her place was going to look _fantastic_ when it was done. Or blinding. Both worked for her.

"We should have done this _before_ we did the other decorating," Spencer mumbled darkly, grunting as he pushed the sofa out of the way. "Where's Morgan's muscles when you need them?"

* * *

Eventually, they got enough lights strung up to satisfy Emily. It seemed that every socket in the place was now in use.

"Emily, what exactly is your electricity bill like during Christmas?" Spencer asked curiously.

She waved her hand at him dismissively.

"Not as much as you think it would be. When your barely home you don't get a chance to turn the lights on for any great length of time."

That answer seemed to satisfy him as he started tidying up the boxes.

"The only pain is that I have to run around the place to turn everything on," she complained.

She really should just get one or two long strands of lights instead of the dozen short ones. She told herself that every year but never got around to it. It just felt wrong to replace perfectly working lights.

"I could probably hook something together to do just that," Spencer offered.

She squinted at him suspiciously.

"_Without_ short-circuiting my apartment?"

The hopeful look she got in return was _not_ reassuring.


	7. So Many

Unfortunately, Emily had informed him that he would get a chance to test his wiring skills today. She muttered something about blowing the electric in the whole building which he personally found insulting. It wasn't a _difficult_ task, hardly complicated at all. She was just being dramatic. He knew that look on her face though, he wasn't going to be able to persuade her. Not without some dire threats which he didn't want to risk.

"Do you really need this many baubles?" Reid asked instead, lining the boxes up and frowning at them in confusion after he calculated how many there were. "Surely you don't need this many."

Well, he looked at the tree, unless Emily was going to cover each branch with a bauble. Which he didn't think you were supposed to do. It would look very cluttered and he didn't think that was a good look.

"Yes!" she replied, looking insulted at the idea of not needing them. "Of course, I do. Don't forget that bag over there."

"This one?" he asked holding it up.

It wasn't very full; unlike all the other bags she had dragged out.

"Yes, that's it!" she replied excitedly and explaining at his confused look, "It has the stars in it."

"Ah." A very important part of the tree decorating process. "Wait, stars?"

"Yes. Stars, Spencer. You know, the thing that goes on the top of the tree?"

Spencer pouted at her. There was no need for that sarcastic tone, she knew what he meant.

"Why are there _numerous_ stars," he amended.

"For each of the trees," the 'duh' at the end was heavily implied.

He just blinked at her. She gave a sigh of exasperation.

"I thought you only put a star on big trees," he said defensively.

"Well not me," she said resolutely.

Of course not.

"It's not right having a tree without a star," she added. "It's looks all bare and naked."

"Those are synonyms. They mean the same thing."

"I _know_ that. I was going for emphasis."

"And you couldn't have used the word 'very'?"

"Oh, let's just decorate the tree."

* * *

They hauled all of the bags and boxes of baubles over to them. There were a _lot_ of them. In many different shapes and colours.

"You couldn't have stored them by colour?" Spencer couldn't help but complain, it would make rummaging through them an awful lot easier.

"Not everyone is pedantic as you," Emily retorted with an eye roll.

"But this is just chaos."

"Stop your whining and help me decide," Emily instructed.

Spencer cocked his head to one side. He hadn't exactly been allowed to make any decisions today. "Decide?"

"On the colour scheme of the tree," she replied impatiently, tapping her foot and giving him an expectant look.

* * *

"So, no angels then?" he teased while trying to bring some order to the chaos.

Even if they just ordered them by size and pattern it would make things a lot easier

Emily shuddered, "_Definitely_ not. Creepy little bastards."

He never quite understood her fear of angels. She'd never explained beyond the above comment and Spencer, after deliberating that it wasn't due to a traumatic event, decides not to press.

"I suppose the star is the more important part of the Christmas story," Spencer commented. "Do you want to go purple, gold, red, silver or gold, green, red on this tree?"

"The angel brought the news though," Emily said absent-mindedly. "And the first one. The green goes on my Slytherin tree in the hall."

Spencer raised an eyebrow, "Slytherin tree?"

"You know, the House from Harry Potter."

"I know what Slytherin House is. I want to know why you have a Slytherin tree."

"Because that's obviously my house," she said with a sniff, pointing her nose in the air.

"Good point," Spencer said after a few beats of thought. He had nothing to argue with there

"I've got bronze and blue ones for the one in the kitchen for you," she assured him.

"For Ravenclaw," he said happily.

"Exactly."

That made an odd sort of warmth bloom across his chest. She'd brought something in to remind her of him in her apartment. He couldn't express that feeling into words.

"You really are a closet nerd," he muttered with a sly smile.

That got him an elbow to the side but she didn't dispute it.

* * *

"I thought trees were meant to have some handmade ones on it," Spencer commented, twirling the shiny one in his hands. It twinkled in the light.

That's what he thought you were meant to do with all the ones you made at school. Not that he'd know for sure, he never had a tree at home. His mom did like his art, as bad as it was, she liked any of his work (or was at least kind about it), but they never had a Christmas tree so he never put them anywhere.

"Mother's one in her office has all my old stuff on it usually," Emily answered, looking through the boxes. "She kept it all, which is impressive considering the amount of moving about she does."

"That's nice," Spencer said with a smile.

"It's a bit silly looking with stuff from kindergarten on there especially since everything else is done up so nice."

Spencer could believe that. Elizabeth Prentiss liked everything just so and had very strong opinions on how that should be. Rather like her daughter, not that he was going to mention that. The idea of her having a tree that didn't look professionally done was almost laughable.

"It's funny because she comes across as someone who's not sentimental at all," Emily continued. "And bam there's a tree with a handprint Santa on it."

Spencer couldn't help but chuckle at that, he'd love to see other diplomats' reactions to it.

"Sounds fantastic."

"It really is," Emily said with a self-conscious laugh and then looked at the part of the tree she was on. "Pass me a red one."

"It's gold next," Spencer reminded her. They had a system going.

"But this spot needs a red."

"It should need a gold."

"We've manged to kiss a whole patch back here," she told him. "It needs a red. No one's going to see the back of it anyway."

She held out her hand expectantly.

But it was going to mess with their carefully constructed order! Small purple, large gold, small red, large silver, invert that and then repeat, going up and down on the branches as you went around. Red definitely did not belong in the spot she was indicating. Spencer somehow didn't think that suggesting to take all the baubles off and redoing them so that they followed the proper order would go over too well. He looked at Emily's face. Nope. Definitely not.

He handed her a red one. It was shiny.


	8. Finishing Touches

Spencer held his hand out for another bauble. Emily's hand scrabbled around in the box only to come up with nothing.

"There's none left," she informed him.

"None left?"

"What are you, an echo? That's what I said," she replied, turning the box upside-down to prove it. Only a few bits of paper fell out.

Spencer picked himself up from the floor, knees cracking.

"You mean, we're done?" He asked, dusting his knees down.

"We're done," Emily confirmed.

Spencer offered her a hand, which she gladly took and let him pull her to her feet. She groaned as muscles stretched in ways they weren't used to. How _long_ had they been crouching on the floor? She probably should have taken JJ's offer of yoga. Looking critically at the tree, her eyes narrowed. There was something not quite right about it, something was missing...

"It took us an hour and twe-"

Emily's eyes widened and she gasped slightly, interrupting Spencer who gave her a curious look.

"Wait!" Emily suddenly exclaimed and darted unsteadily into the kitchen. Her knees had gone somewhat numb.

She could feel the bemused look Spencer shot at her back but didn't stop to explain. How could they forget about this? Seizing the bag they had put on the table for safety, she darted back into the living room.

"Are those more baubles?" Spencer asked in exasperation, looking somewhat wild with his hair sticking up in every direction from all the physical effort of the day.

"Stars," she corrected, holding the bag out.

He ran a hand over his face. "How did we forget about those?"

"I blame your system."

"It worked, didn't it?"

Emily had no answer for that (that she would come out on top) so she pulled a face instead.

"Do _all_ the trees have to have stars?" he asked apprehensively.

She sighed heavily at him. "Yes, we've been _over_ this."

"Yes, yes," he waved his hand dismissively at her. "They're all 'bare and naked' otherwise."

"Exactly."

"They're hardly bare. They're loaded down with baubles."

"It's not the same without a star," Emily told him stubbornly.

"You do realise you have seven trees?" he complained.

Emily scoffed at him. That wasn't a lot at all. Just one in every room. Most of them were small. They hadn't taken that long to decorate. She fished the big star out of the bag and set it to one side.

"Bet you I can put stars on three of the trees faster than you can," she challenged, shaking the bag at him.

He couldn't resist a challenge like that and Emily knew it.

"What trees?" he asked with narrowed eyes. "They need to be of equal distance."

"We'll fight for them." It would make it more fun.

"I'm not doing the one in the bathroom," Spencer claimed with a huff.

He'd even refused to decorate it, citing all the germs it could hold.

"That's an easy one for me then."

"Why do you even _have_ one in there anyway?"

"There was space for one!"

Just about. She had been very glad to find a tiny one to put on the windowsill.

Spencer huffed something about 'Christmas crazies' but she decided to ignore him. Christmas spirit and all that.

She tipped the stars out onto the floor.

"Ready?"

He nodded sharply, looking resigned but hands at the ready.

"Go!"

-xxxxx-

Emily panted as she skidded into the kitchen before cursing loudly. Spencer was already there, shoving his second star on it. Dammit, the coats in the hall had gotten in the way.

Spencer gave her a triumphant look before they both dashed out the door, trying to cram through at the same time. She ran her fingers down his side, making him yelp and move instinctively away from her. Good thing he was so ticklish. Dirty tactics but this was _war_

-xxxxx-

"I win!" she crowed, literally doing a happy dance as he stumbled back into the living room.

He poured as she grinned. His height was really a hurdle when you were darting around an apartment. His, ahem, lack of grace didn't exactly help either. They would have to find the vacuum to clean up all that soil from the plant in the hall...

"What do you win?" he asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"No cleaning up duty?" she tried. That got her an eye roll but he smiled and nodded his head.

"Sure," he agreed, stretching his arms again.

She hears something cracking and winced in sympathy. He had definitely contorted himself into weird shapes today.

There was just one last thing to do and he could go get a shower.

"Here," she handed the star to him. "You put it on."

He looked down

"Are you sure? I know trees a lot of tradition about being the one to put the star on the tree," he said hesitantly, tracing the outline of it with a finger.

Emily shrugged. "I figure it's your turn this year."

He gave her that shy smile that always made her heart flutter and make her want to smother him with affection as he held the star up.

"Just push it on?" he checked.

"Clump a few of the top branches together," Emily recommended, they were kind of thin at the top. "It will make it steadier."

He did as he suggested and soon had the star on the tree. He took several more minutes trying to get it perfectly straight before she tugged him away.

"Now the tree is taller than you," Emily said in satisfaction.

Spencer didn't look like he had heard her as he stared at the tree in awe, completely frozen. Wanting to stop herself from tearing up, she waved a hand in front of his face.

"Spencer."

"What? Oh yeah, it is," he replied haltingly, shaking his head to regain his bearings. "Just about."

Despite it being quite a large star, due to them having to cram it on four branches and sink it down quite far so it wouldn't topple over, it just cleared Spencer's height by about an inch. Still, it was taller than him and that's what mattered. A tree was supposed to completely fill the space in her opinion. She grinned at him.

"Now we're done," she announced.

They exchanged triumphant grins before they both collapsed on the floor and surveyed their work.

"We did a pretty good job," Emily observed, smiling in satisfaction as she took it all in.

Her apartment looked _fantastic_. It was pretty and tasteful and there was Christmas Spirit everywhere. Garcia would be proud.

"We make a good team," Spencer responded, leaning into her. Her fingers automatically started playing with his hair.

They just lay like that, finally allowing themselves to rest and bask in their accomplishment. Decorating really took a lot out of you! Not that Emily mattered, the end result more than made up for the effort required.

What surprised her was that they hadn't really argued with each other or had a falling out. She was so used to decorating alone she really thought that she'd end up snapping at him for some perceived error. Of course, she really should have known better. This was her and Spencer Reid after all. They got each other. She sighed happily. Then a thought struck her.

"You know we still have your place to do, right?" Emily said, raising an eyebrow.

Spencer groaned and let his head fall back against the wall. The thought of even more decorating was obviously too much to consider right now.

"This is why we should move in with each other."

**AN: And that's the end of Emily and Spencer's decorating adventures. Thank you to everyone who came along for the ride, especially my reviewers ahowell1993, Bohogal1998 and lolyncut who have been incredibly loyal reviewers and I appreciated each and every one of their reviews! ****A final thank you to you all! Also, thank you to all those who have favourited and put this story on their alerts, I really appreciate that as well!**


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